THE MAN IN THE MOON

If you have read any of my blogs, in fact if you are faithful and loyal enough to read them then you are probably holding your breath right now wondering if this is just another blog about L-O-V-E. Not exactly. This blog is actually going to deal with the more technical and physical side of relationships. Okay, get your minds out of the gutter. It is not going to be X-rated. It is not even going to be PG-13. However, this blog will deal with teen angst and wide-eyed innocence when exploring the topic of kissing. Kissing? So what's the big deal? Well, if you've never kissed someone there is a lot of planning and practicing that goes into making your "first kiss" worth remembering.

Life can be quite simple when your a child, but once you start noticing the opposite sex life can get quite complicated and exciting. It is a rush. In the movie, "The Man in the Moon", where Reese Witherspoon had her film debut, there is a scene between two sisters who share their fears about growing up and even the technicalities of kissing a boy for the very first time.

Maureen: "Do you remember when we were little and Mama used to tell us when things get all mixed up all you have to do is tell The Man in the Moon?"

Dani: "Yeah, you just had to keep on talking until you were sure you told him everything so that he had all the pieces. Just like a puzzle."

Maureen: "And then he'd work out the puzzle for you while you were asleep."

Dani: "Yeah, but that was kid's stuff Maureen. We're too old for make believe."

Maureen: "Yeah, I know".

It's funny how Dani is the fourteen year old girl and Maureen is the seventeen year old girl in this scenario.

Dani: "Maureen? What's it like to kiss a boy?"

Maureen: "It depends on the boy. You talking about anybody in particular?"

Dani: "I was just asking a question. Can't anybody ask a question around here?"

Maureen: "For starters, you let him kiss you if you like him. If you don't like him, just tell him that you're not that kind of a girl."

Dani: "What if you like him alot?"

Maureen: "Then you won't have to think about it. It will all come to you."

Dani: "You're not telling me anything. I need to know what to do."

Maureen: "Ok. Come on. First you'll kind of have to tilt your head to one side that's so you won't bump noses."

Dani: "Ok".

Maureen: "Would you loosen up. He's going to think you're scared of him. Ok, then kind of open your mouth just a little".

Dani: "Uh-uh". (Spoken like a true fourteen year old, well at least back in the 1950's which was the setting for this movie).

Sadly, nowadays kids are losing their virginity at fourteen instead of receiving their first kiss.

Maureen: "You wanted to know how. I'm telling you how. Look, practice on your hand, okay? That's it just keep practicing."

Dani: "Well, what if I forget what to do?"

Maureen: "Just do what you feel".

Dani: "If I do what I feel, I'll burst in a million pieces and go flying out into space".

Maureen: "That sounds to me like a good way not to get kissed twice".

Dani: "Maureen? Have you ever liked somebody so much it almost made you sick? It's like my stomach ties up in knots and I can't breathe and sometimes I think I'm going to throw up."

Maureen: "Well don't throw up, Dani. Whatever you do don't throw up."

Eventually, Dani did get her kiss and she didn't throw up. The scene between Dani and Court takes place down by the pond where they first met.

Dani: "I want you to be the first boy to ever kiss me."

Court: "I thought you said, you've been kissed so many times."(He leans down and kisses her gently which is appropriate for a seventeen year old boy kissing a fourteen year old girl.) "How was that?"

Dani: "Perfect."

Honesty is so refreshing. Here is one of my favorite scenes ever of Dawson's Creek because at its core the show was about sweaty palms and innocence. Dawson, played by James Van Der Beek approaches his dad played by John Wesley Shipp about the "mechanics of kissing".

Dawson: "Um I have a question. It's kind of a girl/relationship question and I don't want it to go to your head that I'm soliciting fatherly advice or anything. But I clearly don't condone yours and mom's perverse sex life. But I'm not too proud to admit that my own inexperience is hindering my current female relations."

Mitch: "Well, what's the question?"

Dawson: "Mechanics of kissing."

Mitch: "How can I help?"

Dawson: "Well, I'm interested in technique."

Mitch: "Well, there is no technique Dawson. You just put your lips together and go".

Dawson: "Yeah, but what makes a good kiss?"

Mitch: "The first time I kissed your mother and we were out on a boat and your mother's lips were chapped from the sun and she asked me if she could borrow my chapstick so I took it out and I put some on my lips and then I leaned over and kissed her. The chapstick was really smooth and just slid onto her lips. The sensation was amazing. I mean, the chemistry was already there, you know? But this was just one of those things that cemented it. It was unforgettable and most of all it was romantic. It's all about the romance. And Chapstick".

As Dawson and his dad were discussing the "mechanics of kissing", Joey played by Katie Holmes was climbing up the ladder into Dawson's bedroom. If you know anything about Dawson's Creek, you know that "the ladder" is very significant. She walks through the room and hears Dawson and his dad talking downstairs in the living room. She kneels down and puts her hands around the rails of the banister and leans her head between the middle of them, eavesdropping on their very private and personal conversation. Joey has quite a crush on Dawson so this is a conversation that she is very interested in because she has daydreamed for quite sometime about Dawson kissing her. The only obstacle being that Dawson is thinking about kissing his girlfriend, Jen from New York City that Joey, small town girl cannot possibly compete with so she thinks.

Dawson: "But the kiss itself? What did you do?"

Mitch: "Well here give it a try."

This is the part in which the writers did such a fantastic job. Mitch Leery, Dawson's father picked up a head that was fashioned to look like Joey because it was kind of her "stunt double" when she got her pretend head chopped off during Dawson's scary film, "Sea Creatures from the Deep".

Dawson: "No."

Mitch: "Well come on this is a big father-son moment here."

Dawson: "You asked for it."

Mitch: "All right."

Dawson: "All right".

Mitch: "Now moisten your lips. And go for it".

Dawson: "Dad this is ridiculous".

Mitch: "Wait the trick is, it's your bottom lip you've got to keep it relaxed, all right? You...want to let it have a mind of its own. You want it to dance with hers."

Dawson: "Okay."

Mitch: "Close your eyes".

Dawson leaned down and kissed the doll's head's lips as unbeknownst to Dawson Joey watched from afar and closed her eyes instinctively imagining that Dawson was really kissing her.

Mitch: "That was good."

Dawson: "Yeah?"

Mitch: "Yeah."

Dawson: "Cool. Um...forget this ever happened?"

Mitch: "All right."

Dawson: "Thanks."

Then at the end of Season One the big moment presented itself and Dawson finally did kiss his best friend Joey.

Joey:"Dawson I am so tired of dancing around these big words. I just want to be honest with you."

Dawson: "Joe, more than anything I just want to be honest."

Joey: "You think we're ready for that honesty?"

Dawson: "Yeah I do."

Joey: "Are you sure? Because honesty is a big word and it changes things and it complicates things. Are you sure you're ready for everything that goes along with telling the truth?"

Dawson hesiates and Joey searches his eyes.

Joey: "I'll see ya Dawson."

Dawson: "Joey. Joey"

Then they kiss as the camera makes it's way out of his bedroom into a wider shot where all you see is the silhouettes of Dawson and Joey with their arms wrapped around each other and their lips locked together. Season Two begins the same way because as we all know "a kiss" is usually just the beginning and real feelings get involved. After that first kiss, things start to change, and an emotional attachment ensues. Dawson described this kiss between he and Joey to Pacey as Pacey was about to embark on his own romance with Andie, which was one of my favorite pairings of the entire series. Dawson said, "It was the sweetest most romantic, 4th of July firework-y,waves crashing on the shore beyond any movie I could ever imagine kiss." Now that is some kiss.The next day Joey has a talk with her sister, Bessie about the first kiss and the agonizing and overanalyzing that goes into the anticipation of being kissed again.

Bessie: "Hi What are you doing here?"

Joey: "Nothing. Just thinking about tonight."

Bessie: "Oh the date. This will be interesting. Hey, what's wrong?"

Joey: "I don't know it just seems weird. I mean Dawson and I on a date? Doesn't that seem weird to you?"

Bessie: "Well, was it weird when you kissed?"

Joey: "No, no that--that felt pretty right. But the thing is it hasn't happened since and that was yesterday."

Bessie: "Well, that's not unusual. The way I see it the second kiss is always tougher than the first one."

Joey: "We actually kissed more than once that night."

Bessie: "Yeah, but it only counts as one. And that first kiss? It's the passionate one. It's the one fueled by desire, and attraction and all that. But the second kiss is rational. You've got time to think about it to worry and overanalyze. Most women they prefer that first kiss, but I'm partial to the second one because it's about something more. You'll get that second kiss Joey and when you do it'll be great. It'll be real. It'll be wonderful".

I've never really thought about it like that. It is a very interesting perspective. I just know that the second kiss is alot easier because you just kind of sink into it. It becomes something more than worrying about the technicalities of bumping noses and how to move your head or even making your bottom lip dance.

Then comes those agonizing drought periods where you aren't being kissed. In Season Three of Dawson's Creek, Joey is going through one of these frustrating drought periods. The scene takes place at a carnival between Joey and Jack who interestingly enough Joey used to date before he realized he was attracted to the same sex. I always liked their dynamic.

Jack: "Where were you?"

Joey: "None of you business".

Jack: "Lost in X-rated thought? Come on tell me."

Joey: "Okay, but promise you won't laugh. I was thinking about...kisses."

Jack starts laughing.

Joey: "Forget it."

Jack: "No, no it just sounds funny coming from the girl who decided to throw away relationships while in pursuit of her true self."

Joey: "I know. Sometimes, I'm sorry I ever said that. I mean...but I'm being honest with you to the point of utter humiliation...I miss the kissing part and I like to think I'll get kissed again before the millenium comes and goes".

Jack: "It'll happen." (Jack sees a physic booth set up in the distance.) In the meantime, why don't we find out when that elusive next kiss is going to find its way to your lips?"

Fastforwarding to Season Four, Dawson was leaving the next day to go to film school. The moment was so overwhelming that Dawson and Joey kissed for the first time in a long while. Joey was talking about her all time most life-altering moment and she said it was when Dawson decided to kiss her. She said, "It's a pretty powerful thing when you get your biggest wish in one moment". For her assignment the next fall at the beginning of Season Five, she decided to write a story about that kiss entitled "The Kiss". Professor Wilder was reading it to the class. This scene picks up in the middle of the story.

"And then just like that, they were kissing. She didn't know how they got there. She had no idea. The thought of kissing this boy hadn't crossed her mind in years which was weird because once upon a time that was all she ever thought about. And then, just like that it was over. He coughed. She shuffled her feet. And she laughed to herself. It had been one of those moments. One of those moments when you shuck your status as mere mortal and achieve however briefly, true greatness. She had shared many such moments with this boy. But now, He was leaving and nothing would ever be the same again."

Let us rewind to Season Two for a moment. Dawson was struggling with the possibility of his parents separating. He and Joey had not been dating for very long and they were sitting on the roof of his house.

Dawson: "Hey look up in the sky. What do you see?"

Joey: "The moon?"

Dawson: "No, no Look at the moon. Now close your eyes. Now what do you see? It's the man."

Joey: "Who?"

Dawson: "It's the man, remember?"

Joey: Oh right--right--right--right. The Man in the Moon. I get it. But wait."

Dawson: "What?"

Joey: "It's not a man, Dawson. It's a woman."

I sure do miss the playfulness and the sillyness. I am a grown-up as much as I protested. It is just comforting to think back to when things were simple like that. When we believed in magic and "The Man in the Moon". In the movie, "The Man in the Moon, Dani told Maureen she wished that she could still talk to the man. Someone once said, "It's the good girls who keep diaries, the bad girls never have the time."I am definitely one of the good girls, like Joey. I have journals that chronicle the big moments in my life such as my very first kiss. I can just close my eyes and envision it. As scared as I was back then, it was a moment that I will always remember. He definitely made it a memorable even though he wasn't wearing any chapstick.

Sometimes, guys don't have any more of a clue than "The Man in the Moon" when it comes to a girls' feelings about them, kissing, and romance. So I thought that it would be interesting to take the journey of the kiss because once a kiss lands on your lips it is only just the beginning, which begs the question, "Is it the kiss itself that is so important or the journey of the kiss?" In cinematic terms, a kiss at least with the right person is definitely the climax, but the journey of the kiss is what builds up the excitement, the drama, and the anticipation in which every single time we hope for a happy ending. At least I hope for a happy ending. A kiss is an outward expression of inward feelings that starts in the pit of your stomach producing gargantuan butterflies and if you are really lucky finds its way into your heart. After all as Alberto Carlos Campos once said, "I feel worthy of every kiss I laid upon you for in each of them went part of my heart." As Mitch Leery said to Dawson, "It's all about the romance." Just ask "The Man in the Moon."

ENTERTAINING ANGELS

The last couple of weeks have been difficult to say the least. Two months ago, my mom's dear friend, Sandy or as her grandkids call her Sassy, was diagonosed with colon cancer. Two weeks later, she underwent surgery to remove three feet of her intestines. The doctor who performed the surgerical procedure told her that her conditon required no further treatment just strict monitoring for the time being. Sandy got a second opinion and went to see an oncologist who prescribed chemotherapy orally. She had been taken the chemo pill for two weeks when she became severly dehydrated and had to be hospitalized. She had to be put on a ventilator and the nurse inserted a feeding tube. There were hopeful times when we thought that she would pull through it.

We were baffled here on earth;however, God in heaven was carrying out His master plan. On the morning of July 31, 2006, an angel came to visit Sandy and carried her to her eternal home. Here on earth, we are sad. We miss her. She was survived by her two children and three grandchildren in whom will carry on this lovely lady's legacy. Melinda said that she has big shoes to fill. She does indeed. I asked my Mom, "Why did God take Miss Sandy? "She exuded joy". Here on earth, joy is scarce,but in Heaven joy is abounding. Here on earth, we are weeping and mourning the loss of a precious mother and friend. In heaven, they are rejoicing.

At Sandy's funeral, my best friend's dad who is the preacher of that church, read from Miss Sandy's beloved book, the Bible. It had been well read. He read a message that she had jotted down in the margin. He read, "My quest for joy ends with Jesus". She had a heart that was totally at peace with God. Mr. Winter spoke of Miss Sandy with high regard. "She had a special way of tapping into the emotional hurts of others". She certainly did. She has helped and supported me immeasurably in all that I ever did or could imagine. She was one of my biggest fans. She will truly be missed until the day that we see each other again in heaven.

In my own selfishness, it is hard to lose someone who unwaveringly cheered me on and was always in my corner. I was saddened when I suddenly realized that Miss Sandy who was like a second mom to me, would not be here to celebrate my wedding day or the birth of my children. I would have loved for her to be here for all of that. I cannot help, but think that losing Miss Sandy would have been made a little easier had she been here to offer her inner strength. She was full of life and vitality. She had many friends and she never met a stranger. Her door was always open. She always had time to listen and pray with anyone. She was a rare person who willingly gave of herself. Hebrews 13:2 says, "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it". She lived out "The Great Commission". Matthew 28:20 says, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of th Son and of the Holy Spirit, and leading them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age".

Now she has had the sunset of her life. Her brilliant colors have been left behind to comfort us. She led an exemplary life. She has and always will be someone who I will always deeply admire and highly respect. She seemed to take everything in stride. 2 Timothy 4:7 says, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept my faith". I just finished reading, "One Tuesday Morning" by Karen Kingsbury and as I was reading I thought about Miss Sandy because the book's theme is how one life can profoundly affect another even through death. Miss Sandy profoundly affected my life in so many ways.

The last time I ever saw her, she was lying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines and my Mom let her know that I was there to visit. She opened her eyes and smiled at me. I am waiting for a rush of good memories. There are many times when Miss Sandy has been there for me sympathizing with my struggles and rejoicing in my triumphs. Her earthly body is in its final resting place, but her spirit is with the Lord. Phillippians 1:21 says, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain". She has left her imprint on many hearts. Once someone wrote anonymously, "Some people come into our lives, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never ever the same". This quote so reminds me of Miss Sandy. Her legacy lives on, here on earth. I know without a shadow of a doubt, she has gone to her mansion in the sky. She is walking on the streets of gold with glad jubilation praising God Almighty and entertaining angels.

I know that Miss Sandy would have liked for us to remember her in life instead of death. This song shows that death does not have to have the final word. She lived a life that was completely sold out for Jesus Christ and now she is in heaven enjoying eternal life victoriously.

"Brad Paisley - When I Get Where I am Going" When I get where I'm goin' On the far side of the sky The first thing that I'm gonna do Is spread my wings and fly 2nd Verse I'm gonna land beside a lion And run my fingers through his mane Or I might find out what it's like To ride a drop 'a rain Chorus Yeah, when I get where I'm goin' There'll be only happy tears I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years And I'll leave my heart wide open I will love and have no fear Yeah, when I get where I'm goin' Don't cry for me down here 3rd Verse I'm gonna walk with my Grandaddy And he'll match me step for step And I'll tell him how I've missed him Every minute since he left And then I'll hug his neck (Repeat Chorus) Bridge So much pain and so much darkness In this world we stumble through All these questions I can't answer And so much work to do Tag Chorus But when I get where I'm goin' And I see my Maker's face I'll stand forever in the light Of His amazing grace Yeah, when I get where I'm goin' (Oh when I get where I'm goin') There'll be only happy tears (I love you, yeah) I will love and have no fear (Yeah, when I get where I'm goin') Yeah, when I get where I'm goin'

BEAUTIFUL AMBITION

Everyone possesses their own unique gifts and talents to contribute to the world. There are many different ways in which to express ourselves. Art, filmmaking and writing are among the many modes of self-expression.

I have been known to use dialogue from Dawson’s Creek and One Tree Hill for inspiration and this blog will be no exception. During the fifth season of the beloved teen drama series, Dawson’s Creek, Dawson has an encounter with Amy Lloyd who is a film critic for the Boston Weekly. She has come to review his movie. In the scene they are sitting in a coffee house where he is trying to persuade her to watch his movie.

Dawson: “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I am not quite sure that it’s done. I mean, all the pieces are there. All of the elements are there. But there’s something about it that just feels kind of… Oh, something that just kind of feels incomplete.”

Amy Lloyd: “What is it about to you?”

Dawson: “I don’t really know how to answer that question. Umm I’ve had this truly bizarre, life altering year. I dropped out of USC to be with this girl who I’ve loved in one way or another for pretty much my whole life. Then my father died, which completely rocked my universe. And then I jumped head first into this really intense relationship with this other girl. And we just broke up and the movie had nothing to do with any of these things. But in a way it has to do with all of them. I feel like I put everything I am into making this film. I’m sorry. I’m rambling”.

Amy Lloyd: “Don’t be sorry. That is actually a movie that I would really like to see.”

Dawson: “Really?”

Amy Lloyd: “Yes. Anything imbued with that much passion and heartbreak sounds far more interesting than half the dreck that is currently taking up space in our nation’s multiplexes”.

Dawson: “This movie, for me, it kind of, held my life together when I needed it most. It forced me to be brave and made me strong”.

Amy Lloyd: I’m about to have an insight here.”

Dawson: “Okay”.

Amy Lloyd: “It’s not the movie you’re afraid is incomplete. It’s you. And you should be afraid of that because you’re not complete, not yet. In fact, you may never be. But you keep looking, and making movies, and showing them to people, and that’s what being a filmmaker is.”

Dawson: “Good Insight.”

Amy Lloyd: “I have my moments.”

Amy Lloyd: “What do you say we go watch ourselves a movie?”

Dawson: “Okay, well what if sucks? What if I completely wasted my time?”

Amy Lloyd: “If it sucks, I will tell you over coffee.”

Now there is no turning back. Dawson has to show this movie. I am sure that he is scared to let out that much of himself-his sweat, blood, and tears- out into the world. After all, there are very harsh and cynical critics out there. Paulina Kael once said, “The words “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”, which I saw on an Italian movie poster, are perhaps the briefest statement imaginable of the basic appeal of movies”. Below is Dawson’s impassioned speech to a roomful of people who are eagerly awaiting a great movie.

Dawson: “We are going to show this thing. Here’s the deal. It’s too long, the music is temp, the mix is unfinished, the transfer is ugly, and we still don’t have a title. But uh…what you’re about to see is a labor of love. For everybody in this room who gave of their time and their energy, and their talent. And, uh…we might be the only people to ever see this thing up on the screen, but it doesn’t matter because it is and it always will be a snapshot of who we are at this particular moment in time. So…brace yourselves. Roll it.”

The truth is I can relate to Dawson. I also have created something in which I would like the world to embrace. Instead of making a film of which I would not have the first clue how to go about making a movie, I wrote a manuscript and sent it off for publication. Toni Morrison once said, “If there’s a book you really want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it”. I am sure that some of its readers will be harsh and cynical critics. Everyone is not going to like my book. It is a fact that I and any other writer, or artist, or filmmaker must face and accept. We can only write, or paint, or create a story from our own unique points of view.

I have also discovered that I am my own worst critic. On One Tree Hill, there is a character by the name of Peyton. She is a very talented artist. She makes a confession directed towards a character by the name of Lucas. Peyton confessed, “I want to draw something that means something to someone! You know, I want to draw blind faith, or a fading summer, or just a moment of clarity. It’s like when you go and see a really great band for the first time and nobody is saying it but everybody is thinking it. We have something to believe in again. I want to draw that feeling…but I can’t. And if I can’t be great at it, then I don’t want to ruin it”. That’s how I feel about my ability to write. I enjoy writing. It is a catharsis for me. However, I feel as though the times are rare that I capture lightning in a bottle which for me is the whole point. If I can’t capture that feeling when I write and often times I do not, I don’t feel like I accomplished what I set out to accomplish. Often times, my words on paper do not sound as well as they do in my mind. It somehow gets lost in translation. It frustrates me to no end when I cannot execute my vision! Paul Bourget once said, “Ideas are to literature what light is to painting”.

I have been in the midst of a truly soul searching year in which to discover my place in the world. It has been a year, to reflect on past experiences. For over a year now, I have been running in place for fear of what I might encounter on the long journey ahead. I have been treading water in an attempt to keep myself from going under. I am fighting the undertow, although I must admit that I have given it power over me. Insecurity is a fierce enemy. I have been plagued with self-doubt. I have been at a stand still, listening to those tiny voices inside my head, which have tried to convince me that I don’t have what it takes to be successful. The voices have tried to persuade me, to give up on my hopes and aspirations for the future. Like a broken record, those voices have told me over and over that I don’t have the endurance necessary to propel me to the finish line.

Often I have wondered if I possessed any gifts or talents in which to contribute to this dog-eat-dog world. I have been running on empty, with no place to go except inside of myself therefore taking a journey through the inner recesses of my mind. It is a scary place. I had psyched myself out. It was hard to believe that there were people in my life who still believed in me, when I no longer believed in myself. The fear of failure is quite crippling at times. Dawson was scared of failure. He was scared to fail at what he loves most, filmmaking. Am I afraid to fail at what I love most? Sure I am, but I must keep on trying, and raising the bar for myself. If there ever comes a time when I find that creating a story is no longer challenging, then I will lose interest.

There are times when I wish that it would be easier for me to verbally express myself. I am never at a loss for words when I write, but sometimes I can’t find the right words to say to express my feelings. I admire public speakers. I admire their bravery and courage to stand up at a podium among a lot of people and deliver these impassioned speeches. I am also very envious of those people who can draw or paint. After all, “a picture is worth a thousand words”. Joan Miro once said, “I try to apply colors like words that shape poems like notes that shape music”. We all have different talents whether or not we excel at the arts. We all find a way in which to shine. We all have our something. We all have our moments.

I am grateful for being talented. My book is a true testament to my ability to weave a story. Like Dawson’s movie, I feel like my book held my life together at a time when I was so uncertain of myself. And like Dawson, I put everything I am into writing that book. It is a constant reminder of the person that I used to be. Just like a picture, can evoke strong memories, my book reminds me of a more simplified time in my life. Joyce Carol Oates once said, “When we claim to “remember” our pasts, we are surely remembering our favorite snapshots, in which the long-faded past is given a distinct visual immortality”. My hope for its readers is that with every turn of the page, they will gain a sense of renewed hope and that they too can pursue their own dreams. Other authors inspired me to write. It is a very rewarding experience. It is very therapeutic, and cleansing. It is very self-gratifying. Jorge Luis Borges once said, “Writing is nothing more than a guided dream”. If only the rules of writing applied to life, then without a shadow of a doubt I would know that I was getting somewhere. It was a memorable life-altering moment when I realized that writing is my true passion. How often are our true passions revealed?

I would like to include another passage from the movie “Little Black Book” starring Brittany Murphy. I will not go so far as to say that watching a movie can be a life changing experience. I will leave that belief for the filmmakers. However, I will say that if you are paying close enough attention to a movie, and watch the story unfold you can find a message or a little gem of wisdom in which you can take with you. What follows is Stacy Holt’s monologue at the end of the movie.

“By fall, I was ready to try again. A little bruised, a little humbled and hopefully a little smarter. I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end…we don’t. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and from the peace that comes from knowing that you just can’t know it all. You know, life’s funny that way. Once you look over the wheel, you might end up right where you belong”.

I can really relate to that. I believe that I was destined to tell a story. John Sheffield once said, “Of all the arts in which the wise excel, Nature’s chief masterpiece is writing well”. I have ended up right where I belong; however the journey is far from over. I will keep searching, keep writing books, and publish them and that is what a writer is supposed to do. Maybe I write stories or blogs in attempt to try to reach some part of myself who still is a little skeptical about life. The more that I write, the easier the words seem to flow out of me. It is like standing before a wishing well, holding a bright and shiny penny, making a wish, letting it go, and hoping that the wish will come true. For me, writing is about releasing my suppressed feelings before an unsuspecting and scrutinizing audience hoping with all of might that that tiny piece of myself that has gone unnoticed or has been lost or has yet to be discovered will suddenly be recognized, appreciated, understood, found again and discovered. Writing has helped me fill in the blanks of the unanswered questions I have had about myself. Writing is a weapon that wards off the tiny voices in my head that try to convince me I am unworthy. It is a gift given to me by God. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “All writing comes by the grace of God”. Whether you like to paint, draw, make movies, act, sing, or even write these are all avenues in which to express ourselves and discover are place in the world.. For me, writing is a beautiful ambition.