CUP OF JOE

I thought that it was time for a candid conversation. A post that reveals who I am outside of being a fairly regular blogger. I thought that I would share some details that define me.

Last thing that made me cry?

Well, truthfully I have been known to cry at Hallmark commercials. I can't just turn on the waterworks; however I can be pretty emotional at times and especially during a certain time of the month. The last thing that really made cry honest to goodness tears is when my chocolate lab who was thirteen years of age went to doggy heaven this past February.

Last thing that made me laugh?

The last thing that made me laugh was when my brother stubbed his toe last night. Ouch! He was shouting expletives. My mom and I were just cracking up. I also have been known to laugh uncontrollably when I see someone fall down. I can't help it. It's genetic.

My biggest regret?

Well, the truth is I don't have that many regrets. Some are definitely more personal than others. I guess I regret not taking many chances and risks. I play it way too safe. If I did take a few more risks I might find more foder for my blogs.

My greatest love?

"I found the greatest love inside of me", to quote an 80's song entitled "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston. I like to think that I take care of myself and that I love and respect myself. I don't think that I have experienced "great love" other than from my family, friends, and my relatonship with the Lord. I would consider Jesus Christ dying on the cross for my sins the greatest love of all. So in that respect I have experienced "the greatest love".

My worst fear?

My worst fear is abandonment probably because my parent's are divorced and my dad left my mom, brother, and me when I was at the tender age of four. I also fear a lack of communication within a relationship. Sometimes, it is hard for me to express my feelings.

My most valued possession?

My journal where I write down my thoughts. Of course, my very own copy of my book which was published at the end of March. I also like my cell phone. It keeps me connected with my world. I also have a sapphire and diamond ring that has a lot of sentimental value. I wear it on the fourth finger of my left hand to keep it close to my heart because my family gave it to me as a college graduation present. I had been admiring my ring from afar for years!

First thing I do every morning?

Well, I use to check myspace every morning, but it has slowly lost its appeal. I do different things. Sometimes I just lay in bed thinking about my "To Do list". Sometimes I take a shower first thing in the morning. Lately, I have been munching on chocolate pop tarts. This morning I wrote a poem.

Last thing I do at night?

I wash my face and brush my teeth. I watch T.V. or an episode of Dawson's Creek or One Tree Hill from my DVD collections. Sometimes, I read a book depending on how sleepy I am. Lately, I have been writing in my journal late at night.

Household appliance I can't live without?

A microwave. I use it almost on a daily basis. I eat Smart Ones frozen cuisine almost everyday for lunch. I would also have to say a blender because I love fruit smoothies. Delicious! I am always reminded of the scene on "Father Of the Bride" between Annie and her dad. She flips out when her fiance, Bryan gives her a blender as a wedding present because she sees it as a 1950's reference for women keeping their place at home. I wouldn't flip out if I received a blender. I don't mind being submissive as long as my boyfriend/husband isn't taking advantage. Someday, I would love to be a Stay At Home Mom for awhile as long as I can have full access to the computer in which to write!

My favorite quote?

This is a tough one. I might as well have found this one on a park bench. Actually, I found it in a book of quotes when I was substitute teaching. The author is unknown or at least I didn't write it down. It has just stuck with me. "True love does not just consist of gazing at each other but gazing outward together in the same direction". In other words, it's all about being on the same page.

My best and worst quality?

This is another tough one. I am very demonstrative. At times I can be very pessimistic and see the glass as being "half empty" instead of "half full". I also can be lazy. I can do anything I put my mind to doing. The flip side of that is that it takes alot to motivate me.

What gives me comfort?

Writing comforts me. It's a release. I believe that writing can be a catharis for my soul. Prayer comforts me. Butterflies comfort me.

What makes me sad?

What truly makes me sad is all the graceful exits from my life of the people I never wanted to leave it. Also it saddens me when I hear someone say that they don't like to read. What would the world be without literature, fiction, or novels? I love diving into a good book. "Come on in the water is fine".

What makes me happy?

Writing makes me happy because it gives me purpose. Blogging makes me happy because it gives me a place to express my thoughts. Sunny and clear days make me happy. Pedicures make me happy. I like happy toes. Babies make me happy. Butterflies make me happy. Being on the "New York Times" best selling list would really make me happy.

Having answered these questions, I feel that I know myself a little bit better. Isn't that the point? You and I see these myspace bulletins all the time with survey after survey. Although 99% of the material on myspace is shallow and superficial, it too can also have it's moments. It reconnected me to an old friend of mine from junior high. So the next time one of these surveys lands with a thud in your inbox or is posted in a bulletin on myspace, take a few minutes to answer honestly an openly. The someone who sent it may be using it as a means to get to know you better: a bridge of communication.

I would like to share with you a story that a guy friend of mine told me the other day. It truly touched me how sentimental he can be. "A professor stands in front of his students with a jar. He fills the jar with golf balls. Then he asks the class, "Is it full?" The class responds in unison, "Yes, it's full". Then the professor fills the jar with pebbles. He asks the class, "Is it full?" The class responds in unison again, "Yes it's full". Next, the professor fills the jar with sand on top of the golf balls and pebbles. He asks the class for a third time, "Is it full?" The class responds for a third time, "Yes, it's full". The professor begins to explain that the golf balls respresent "the family unit". The pebbles represent "the mundane details, the rountines, and the busyness of life". The sand represents "time". Finally, he pours coffee into this already full jar. The jar is filled with coffee to the brim. The professor asks for a final time, "Is it full now?" The class responds in unison for a final time, "Yes, it's full". He looks at the class, and says something very profound. "There is always enough room in your life for a cup of coffee with an old friend". Who knew that a science experiment, could carry such weight? Pardon the pun.

True to form, we all complain about the pebbles( the mundane, the routines, and the busyness). In truth, we could all do without so many pebbles. But then what would we complain about? Oh yeah, family. What if we didn't have those golf balls? Those people in our lives with whom we share a last name and a legacy. What if we didn't have sand? Time is pretty important. We claim that we don't have it for doing the things that we need to do, but there always seems to be enough time to do what we want to do. And lastly, what would we do without coffee? We would probably never wake up or go through the decision making process at Starbucks. By the way, a Caramel light frappucino is my drink of choice.

If you are a middle aged or older lady meeting friends for tea at a quaint little tea room, sip your tea if you must with your little pinky sticking out, but don't forget to ask your dining companions, "How are you?" or "What's new in your life?" "It is what is on the inside that counts". If you are a hip and saavy twenty-something hanging out at a coffeehouse, make time for your friends. Start up a conversation, you never know how much your time and effort can mean to someone. It can be very therapeutic talking with someone. I have many interesting conversations with my friends. I am making more of a conscious effort to spend more time with them after having heard that story. I was thinking about it as a friend and I went to eat dinner together the other night. We just let our hair down and had a really good conversation. There is enough room in our lives for old and new friends alike. Friends are like precious jewels. They are to be treasured. Pull up a chair next to an old friend, catch up on time that has gone by and pour your friend and yourself a cup of joe whether it be decaf or regular.

In my opinion, this song entitled "Sorry to a Friend" by Edwin McCain is fitting for this particular post. I hope that you enjoy it and get something out of it as I do.

Sorry to a Friend

Sittin' on the edge
Looking for songs in a bottle
Talking with strangers who don't know my pain
Blurry eyed and burned out
Choking on more than I can swallow
Crack in a little voice called out my name

She said ~ Whatever happened to you,
You took the coward's way out again
And I guess all my fears were true
The words were all gone the time's been too long.
But its not too late to say it sorry to a friend

Staring in her face, I see a past that still haunts me
The road where we split up is paved with the things I didn't say
We had wonderful times, but terrible timing
Now just leave her alone, I'll just be in the way

She said whatever happened to you
You took the coward's way out again
And I guess all my fears were true
The words are all gone, the time's been too long
But it's not too late to say I'm sorry to a friend
I'm sorry to a friend. Sorry to a friend

Like a stone in a stream
Life smoothes all our edges
'Til we barely make a ripple any more
But those times in my life will live with me forever
But we're not the same people that we were before

And I'm sorry for the smiles we missed and the times that I blew it
I've got so much to tell you I don't know where to start
Maybe I'll find a way maybe you'll help me do it
'Cause friends like us should not be apart
And I'm sorry to a friend
Well now I'm sorry

---

ONE SINGLE SOUL

It is fitting that this post comes on the heels of "Graceful Exits". Aristotle once said, "Friends are one soul dwelling in two bodies". Have you ever stopped to think about what that means? Sure, we all have friends. Some people have more friends than others. More than likely these friends are mere acquaintances than true friends. Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother". Consider the friends who are apart of your life. Would this friend take the shirt off his back for you? Would this friend throw water on you if you were on fire? Would this friend fight lions, tigers, and bears? Oh my!

In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy had some great friends regardless of the fact that these friends were a lion, a tin man, and a scarecrow. Each one was looking for something different. The Scarecrow, who was Dorothy's dearest friend, was searching for a brain. The Tin Man was searching for a heart and the Cowardly Lion was searching for courage. Dorothy wanted to find a way back home. So all of these characters had something in common. They were searching for something. They were searching for something that would make them complete. Perhaps the Scarecrow was Dorothy's dearest friend because he was the first one she had met on her journey to Oz. They all decided to go see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz, together. The key word in the previous sentence is "together".

They were brave souls. They obtained their bravery from each other despite supposedly the lion did not have any courage. If you ask me, he was pretty courageous on that sometimes spooky and unknown trek to Oz. If that Tin Man didn't have a heart then how come he was so tender and he cried all the time? If the Scarecrow didn't have a brain then how come he knew and only he knew the right things to say to Dorothy when she was distraught and ready to give up? The Tin Man needed Dorothy to bring out the tenderness and gentility in him. The Cowardly Lion needed her so he could feel big and strong by protecting her. The Scarecrow needed her because she saw that he had potential. In my opinion, Dorothy needed them for support, protection, comfort, and company. The Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion all needed Dorothy, one single soul, to bring out the best in all of them.

Switching gears from a beloved movie to a beloved television series, I will now focus my attention on the incredible dynamic of Dawson and Joey. The characters of Dawson and Joey were played by James Van der Beek and Katie Holmes respectively on the hit show Dawson's Creek. The setting is in Dawson's bedroom where the greatest and most memorable conversations between Dawson and Joey always took place. He is leaving the next day, to go off to Hollywood in pursuit of a childhood dream to become a director. Joey is having a hard time letting go of her friend, confidante, and soulmate. Joey says to Dawson: "Do you believe in magic? I never used to. How could I? Thirteen , your mom dies. You hope for magic something to make it all better. It never comes. You look to your father who's unable to overcome all of his tragic flaws. Well no abracadabra there. And then there's Pacey. Well... Any magic that was there ran out, didn't it? But then there's you. There's proof that someone out there is thinking of me. My friend who is with me always. It's pure magic". In another episode, Joey asks Dawson: "Do you think that every Joey has a Dawson and every Dawson has a Joey?" Dawson replies, "I certainly hope so for their sake". Dawson and Joey are just two single souls who needed each other.

Someone once said, "No man is an island". Everyone needs just one person to be there for them whether in good times or bad times, but especially in those uncertain times. It doesn't necessarily have to be the same person just one single soul needing another. I have had two "scarecrows" in my life. The first scarecrow I met as a child. She taught me about friendship. The second scarecrow I met as an adult. He taught me about romantic love. My best friend Heather is very dear to me because she happened to be the first person that I met on my journey, this journey that we call life. We haven't always seen eye to eye. In fact, at times we see things so differently; however we have continued to be there for each other in whatever capacity we could be. Having had been friends with someone for so long is a rare and precious gift. It is a gift that should be treasured and not taken for granted. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends".

There have been other souls who I have met on my journey who have given of their time and of themselves in ways that have meant so much to me. Each and every single soul I have encountered that God has blessed me with in my life brings out something different in me. "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves". Although I have more than a handful of family members who I hold dear and consider my time with them precious and well spent.

In an episode of One Tree Hill, the character Peyton played by Hilarie Burton said, "At this moment, there are six billion, four hundred, seventy-one million, eight hundered, eighteen thousand, six hundred, and seventy-one people in the world. Six billion souls and sometimes...all you need is one". Sometimes all we need is one. Another character by the name of Nathan played by James Lafferty on One Tree Hill said, "If you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of a song, and in the eyes of someone you love". Last Saturday morning, I woke up cranky. I had to go to work. I drank some coffee hoping that would bring me to life and take care of the tiredness and crankiness. My best friend brought her newborn daughter by for a minute and in that instant, a big smile came across my face. It took just one- one single soul in the form of a little baby to set me on my MERRY way.

I am still anticipating "the one". The one person in which I am meant to share my life. The person who will be my friend, confidante, and soul mate. A kindred spirit, in which I can share my fears, hopes, and dreams. I felt the magic once temporarily. I am trying to wait patiently for the "hocus pocus" to weave its spell on my heart once again. Isn't there one single soul out there who is my match in every way? I am sure that we have all asked that question at one time or another, out of lonely frustration. If you are lonely, don't lose heart. Reach out to someone. You can find comfort, hope, and stability in the strangest of places. Octavio Paz once said, "Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human conditon. Man is the only being who knows he is alone". Tennessee Williams once wrote, "When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone". You don't have to walk this journey we call life alone. I am grateful for the company that I have been given in my life. I have people who unselfishly give of their time and themselves. I have people who give me validity, depth, and substance. I hope that you have someone who gives you validity, depth, and substance in your lives whether it be a friend, a family member, a significant other, or a spouse. After all every "scarecrow" needs his "Dorothy" and every "Dawson" needs his "Joey". One single soul deserves another.

Here is a poem by Richard Brautigan entitled "Your Catfish Friend". It has been said that, "Brautigan is good for you". So sit down and get comfortable. Let me brew you a cup and drink it in slowly.

"Your Catfish Friend"

If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, "It's beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,"
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, "I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them".

GRACEFUL EXITS

"I wanted to share something personal and tell you that there are people in my life who are gone now, people I miss very much and people who I am haunted by in different ways. Whether we're separated by death or merely distance, I know that they are still with me because I keep them in my heart". This is an excerpt from Joey's graduation speech on Dawson's Creek. I was reminded of this speech when my baby brother graduated from high school last week. I took a trip down memory lane and arrived at my own graduation from high school almost ten years ago. That is really hard to believe. I am not sure what is harder to believe, Jamey graduating from high school or the undeniable fact that I have been out of high school for almost ten years now. I began to think about how much his life is going to change as he is now standing at a crossroads. As he took this gigantic step, I began to retrace mine. I began to think about all of the changes that took place in my life that fateful summer after graduation.

The year was 1997. I graduated from high school and felt immediately pressured to find a job that would hopefully make ends meet so that I could attend a junior college and then make my way to a university. So suddenly my freedom was gone and this pesky thing called "responsibility" took its place. My maternal grandmother also died that summer. I went to visit her grave on Mother's Day just a few days ago. She had a tremendous impact on my life. She had a quiet strength about her that I so admired and respected. My brother Ben moved out of our house for the second time and as if that wasn't enough my best friend, Heather moved across town. An emotional upheaval had ensued on all fronts. One chapter of my life was closing and I was reluctant for another one to begin.

I was invited to go on a trip to Florida with a friend from my former school and her family. I jumped at the opportunity to rid my mind of the reminders that my life was changing and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. I suppose, I had a nice enough time. As I mentioned in a previous post, I fainted at Sea World. I think it was my way of dealing with all of the changes in my life. Stress and I were getting to know each other on a first name basis. Through out that particular time in my life I learned that change was inevitable. John Steinbeck once wrote, "Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass". What I couldn't understand and what I still struggle with to this day is why change is necessary. Why can't things just stay the same? Why are we and our world constantly evolving? Hasn't anyone ever heard the expression, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"? Sigh. (Note to Self: "Take a deep breath").

Four years later, I found a group of people in which I could be myself. And I fell in love with one of them so deeply and completely that it took a long time for me to accept that that time in my life is over as well. He had a profound impact on my life twice. There are those people who gracefully exit your life and never return, and then there are those people who gracefully exit your life and make a surprise return through that secret and invisible revolving door. Then there are those people who just stick with you no matter what. Those people who you take for granted. I prefer these people. The people on whom you can depend, lean, and count on when push comes to shove. People like my best friend. Although, our lives have changed and evolved as we grew up and our now adults she still has my back and I still have hers no matter what. Now and always. Even though, there were a few fights that we have had over the years in which I thought we might not get past, but still no exit. Thank goodness.

After having said "goodbye" the first time to my first love, God put an amazing person in my life. She and her husband have been such a comfort and inspiration to me in ways they will never know. Thank you Cherrie. Just when I thought nothing could rock my world, she informed me that her husband was being transferred. Surprisingly, I took the move rather well. I can't think about the distance between us for too long or else it has a tendency to sadden me. We are still great friends and we talk on a regular basis; however, we are both keenly aware of the miles that separate us. I recently went to visit she and her family at their new home.

There are just some people like Cherrie and Heather who come with a bulit in welcome mat. I felt immediately at home with these people. Well, maybe not so much with Heather at first, but as my friend Matt says, "that's another blog for another time". Then there's Matt. He is a good tried and true friend. He had one of those built in welcome mats as well, but initially I couldn't see it because I was too foolishly wrapped up in my current emotional upheaval. "Hindsight is 20/20", so they say."What you see is what you get" with Matt. We all need people in our lives like that. He is actually one of those people who came through the revolving door. Thankfully by that time, I was ready and willing to put a welcome mat out for him.

Recently, an old childhood friend of mine, Natalie came through that revolving door. We were the best of friends in junior high and somehow we just fazed out. She started attending a new school and our lives went off in different directions. I am glad that life seems to have been kind to her. Maybe we can get to know each other again as grown ups and remember the children that we were. It is nice to have those people in your life who remind you of a time that was sweet and innocent. Natalie is one of those people.

Then there are those people who you sometimes regret leaving behind and at the same time know that it was time to move on for your own well being and state of mind. On the other hand, there are those people who have left you behind. People with whom you have somehow outgrown and vice versa. Maybe these people through no fault of their own just carry with them painful memories that you can't get past. By gones. Sometimes you have to let go of the things and even the people who have hurt you. Sometimes you have to be the one to make a graceful exit. I have had to bow out gracefully at times because I felt like I had no other choice or because I felt like I was someone's second choice. Being in the back of someone's mind, became less and less appealing to me when I finally realized that I deserved to be a top priority.

Jamey, my baby brother is about to go through a very significant transition in his life. What he has in his favor is his brothers and sisters who have gone before him who have "been there and done that". Making mistakes is just apart of life, but learning from our mistakes is a choice. It is a crucial choice that if in fact we don't want to repeat those mistakes we must learn from them.

There are people who have been in my life who are gone now, who I miss very much and who in different ways haunt me and who have supported, encouraged, loved, and even challenged me in their own unique ways. Now for the end of Joey's graduation speech, "The truth is, in time that's all we are going to be to each other anyway this population of memories. Some wonderful and endearing some less so, but taken together those memories help make us who we are and who we will be. So whether you are here with each other now or merely in each other's thoughts remember each other on that road ahead, and I hope that no matter where your travels lead you in this life, you'll always take Capeside with you". Next year, is my ten year high school graduation reunion and those people who have made graceful exits will re-enter some who carry "wonderful and endearing memories" and some who carry less than "wonderful and endearing memories".

We all have had to say "good-bye" to someone in our lives whether it be "merely distance or through death, a final "good-bye". More than likely, you think about these people that you have left behind or those who have left you behind. "I hope that wherever your travels, lead you in this life, you'll always take( fill in the blank) with you". My hope for Jamey is that he will be able to take those along with him on his journey who have made the greatest impact and who have made growing up a bit more bearable. Hopefully, as he matures more and more each day he will count his family, his sister (me) at the top of his list of the people on whom he can depend, count, and lean on when push comes to shove. Isn't it obvious how much I love my baby brother?

I hope that people my age can be a little less selfish when looking at the generation that follows us, thinking a little less about how so much precious time has passed us by, and a little more about paving a way for these young men and women who hold so much promise and potential within his or her grasp. Hopefully, those people who stand by us no matter what stage we are in our lives, can make it a little bit more bearable when other people make disappearing acts and graceful exits. Oh and one more thing, over the years I finally figured out why change is necessary. Change is necessary and not always a terrible thing because it is God's intent for us to be totally dependent upon Him. He needs us to need Him. However, that does not mean that we should not do our parts because we should do our parts. It just means that He will always be with us and He will never make a disappearing act or a graceful exit.

Whether or not you are still a part of my life, if you have had any kind of impact on me at all, rest assured you still have a place in my heart. Here is poem by E.E. Cummings (It reminds me of a true life love story- loves last tribute) and a duet by Sheryl Crow and Sting called "Always By Your Side" ( It is dedicated to a very special guy who no longer has a place in my life, but will always have a place in my heart) that has comforted me when thinking about my "population of memories".

"I Carry Your Heart with Me" by E.E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world ( for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

"Always By Your Side" by Sheryl Crow (Duet with Sting)

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away

But every now and then you come to mind

Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game

But when your name was called, you found a place to hide

When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent

my demons and my angels reappeared

Leavin' only traces of the man you thought I'd be

Too afraid to hear the words i always fear

leaving you with only questions all these years

Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear

Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear

Or are you left to wander, all alone, eternally

This isn't how it's really meant to be

No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,

How to pull it close and make it stay

Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away

And I'm left to carry on and wonder why

Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear

Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear

Or are you left to wander, all alone, eternally

But this isn't how it's really meant to be

Oh it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear

How to pull it close and make it stay

If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away

Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why

Was it you that kept me wondering through this life

When you know that I was always on your side

WALKS OF LIFE

I have said many times that my travels inspire my writing. My last and most recent venture is no exception to the rule. In my last post, I wrote about how I hope that I make a good impression on other people. In this blog, I want to express how other people make an impression on me. I can honestly say that everyone with whom I encountered was genuinely nice. Each and every person I encountered had a story and some were even willingly to share their stories.

On Saturday afternoon April 29, 2006 much to my chagrin, I boarded a plane headed for Phoenix Arizona. My fellow passenger happened to be a nice looking guy who volunteered to put my carry-on bag into one of the overhead bins and offered me a seat. I was so terrified to take off because I hadn't flown in over six years. He was reading a magazine nonchalantly as I was trying hard not to projectile the remains of my breakfast and my just peachy smoothie that I had opted for instead of something else that would have weighed heavily on my already queasy stomach. I looked over at him as I grabbed on for dear life, and politely asked, "So this doesn't bother you?" "No", he politely replied. He informed me that he had flown several times and each time was the same. However, he did mention that one time he made the mistake of eating a McDonald's Big Mac before getting on a plane which made me even more grateful for having sense enough to just drink a smoothie.

When the plane leveled off, I felt like I could at least breathe. So Bryan and I started up a conversation. It turned out that he was originally from Scottsdale, Arizona. And he had moved to Nashville on a transfer. I also found out by talking to him that he was planning a wedding with his future bride. He was going to Phoenix to visit her for a few days. I told him that I had recently published a book in which he said "Congratulations". He said that he also had a manuscript that he had been working on for awhile. He also was a songwriter of sorts. An hour had passed by, before I asked for the time. He had managed to put me at ease which believe me was no easy feat especially when I heard the pilot say we were going to be traveling at exactly 45,000 feet up in the air. I could have gone the rest of my life without having heard that tidbit of information.

The landing wasn't so bad. I decided half way through the flight to look out of the window for awhile. I had forgotten how beautiful the puffy white clouds could be looking down at them. I began to relax as the plane was making its final descent. Then it was time to go to baggage claim and retrieve my luggage. Luckily, I had my Mom along for this trip. At first, we thought that our luggage had been lost as we were waiting for our ride from the airport. We made a sigh of relief when we finally spotted our luggage. We had come to visit my Mom's sister and my favorite aunt.

By Wednesday, we had decided to venture out towards historical downtown where my Aunt Frances has her hair done on a weekly basis. I finally met the infamous Janet who is my aunt's hairdresser. She had heard as much about me as I had heard about her. She wasn't at all how I had pictured her. Most people rarely look the way that you envision them in your mind. I really didn't expect her to have blonde hair although it was probably not her natural color. She was very nice and I really appreciate how kind she has been to my aunt. I love the downtown area there. There is so much history. We went to Lute's Casino for lunch. It is the place where are the movie stars like Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable used to go for a good time. I bought some souvenirs while I was there at a place called Twigs.

Janet, Mom, Aunt Frances, and I made plans to meet for lunch the next day. We went to this quaint little cafe on the outskirts of town that serves Chinese cuisine. It was really good. I inquired about the Mexican restaurants and Janet told me about the local restaurants. She recommended the green chili enchilada at El Charro's Cafe. It turned out that she was a member of a book club. My Aunt Frances had told her that I had written and published a book so she was anxious to read it and informed me that she was going to tell the book club. I got very excited because my book was now circulating in Arizona.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the entire trip was the journey home. We woke up at about 3:30 AM in order to catch a taxi. The taxi ended up coming early to take us to our next stop which happened to be a Chevron station a few miles up the road. It was hard saying goodbye to Aunt Frances that morning although I was half-awake and half-asleep. We went to this gas station to catch a shuttle that would take us to the Sky Harbor airport in Phoenix. We waited over an hour for that shuttle. During that time, we met one of the workers from the Chevron station. I felt so sorry for that man having to come in to work so early. In the hour that we had been waiting we learned that he was originally from Michigan and his doctor had advised him to move to a warmer climate because of his health condition. He was a widower. He had one son and three grandchildren of which two boys and one girl. They were planning on coming for a visit to see him this summer. He was a very nice man. He even watched out for us when this man riding a bicycle decided to stop by and get something to eat. He was a shady character. He pulled his bicycle around the back of the store to eat. Mom and I had our guard up, but the worker was keeping a close watch out for us.

Along came the shuttle just when we had started to give up on it, and out popped a doe eyed brunette who promptly started loading our luggage into the back of the van and informed us that she was going to get some coffee. There was another passenger who was getting on the shuttle at the Chevron station, a soft-spoken man who was nice enough. He was irritated because the 5:15 AM shuttle was the only one running that day and his flight wasn't until two o'clock. I can't say that I blame him for being irritated. The shuttle driver, Simone was a very entertaining and colorful character. I didn't mind her bubbly personality even though I was trying my hardest to sleep. She and the shotgun passenger struck up a conversation. He was an older man who was headed to Cody, Wyoming. He seemed to know a lot about life and he had had a lot of different experiences. He was probably in his late sixties if I had to guess. He was very nice and really seemed to enjoy Simone's company. Simone was a native of Utah and she had grown up as a Mormon. I gathered from the way that she talked she had done a little bit of everything to make ends meet. She even informed us that she was supposed to have gotten married in June, but that she had gotten cold feet.

We picked up some more passengers along the way. They were two girls that seemed to be going back and forth between their parents. They rode in the back of the shuttle. They tried to sleep for a little while and were smart enough to bring a blanket. I had wished that I had brought one because I am so cold-natured. Then when they had woken up, they quizzed each other on Spanish vocabulary. "What is estrella?" "Star", I simply informed them.

Did you know that it takes a cactus seventy to one hundred years to grow its first arm? That is a tidbit of information that Simone passed along. Since she had moved to Arizona, she had studied up a lot on legends, colloquialisms, history, and culture. She also made a joke that it looked like the cacti with two arms were flipping us off. I had never really thought about that before, but ever since she said that every cactus that had two arms looked like it was flipping me off.

We finally arrived at the Sky Harbor airport in one piece. My stomach took a nose dive as I realized the countdown had begun for getting on yet another plane. We hadn't managed to get a direct flight to Nashville. We were going to have to make a detour to Texas and then catch a connecting flight into Nashville. We stood in line to tag our luggage and get our boarding passes. There was a little girl in front of me carrying a Beauty and the Beast suitcase. She was so cute despite it looked as though her mother hadn't bothered brushing her hair that morning. She looked back at me and smiled. I thought to myself, this child is not afraid to get on a plane, so why am I?"

The countdown continued as Mom and I grabbed some lunch in the heavily air conditioned airport. Despite, the cold air I was in the mood for a Wendy's frosty. Yum. I thought that it might calm my nerves. Shortly, it was time to board the plane to Houston. The passenger I sat beside this time wasn't in any mood for a candid conversation like Bryan had been a week ago. He ordered tomato juice over ice as his drink of choice. Yuck. It smelled so bad. I was so glad to get off that plane because of the smell of that tomato juice not to mention the less than smooth landing. It had made me dizzy. Once we landed there wasn't much time until the connecting flight. So Mom and I visited the facilities and waited for our next flight. We were in the "A" group this time so we would get first choice of seats.

I opted for sitting in the middle for the last leg of the trip. Soon we would be arriving in Tennessee. Home. There is no place like it. This very nice lady sat next to me on the trip home. She was originally from the Northeast, but she had been living in Houston for quite awhile. It turned out that she and her husband were going to be moving to my hometown soon. She was meeting him in Nashville and they were going to drive west to look at some houses on the market. During the flight, she asked me about restaurants and entertainment. She asked me what I did for a living, which really isn't anything spectacular because I am in transition mode for the time being. I hesitated to tell her that I had published a book and that I just so happened to have a copy in my carry-on bag. My Mom had pulled it out for Randy to look at it. She asked if she could buy that copy and would I please sign it. I was so pleased. It was the smoothest flight and it seemed like it took no time at all. Still it had been a very long day, and coming back we had lost two hours. I turned to my Mom and said, "On this trip especially today, we have seen so many different walks of life". She pondered my observation for a moment, and agreed with me.

On our final descent into the Nashville airport, we looked out the window and there was a cloud cover. It felt like we were walking through the clouds. I looked down at the earth below, and I saw the green trees. The atmosphere is so different here than in Arizona. I felt my ears pop for probably the first time on all four flights. I breathed in the air and it was filled with moisture instead of dry heat. I felt a chill for the first time in a week. And I felt precipitation. Even though it was raining, I was glad to be home in Tennessee.

I am thankful for every new person I met this week. Every person had a purpose for going to where he or she was going. The heart is a traveler. My heart was calling me to Arizona to visit my aunt because I had not seen her face to face in six years. People are searching for a place to belong and feel safe. I felt safe in Arizona among family. It was a time that I will never forget. I am a link in a legacy of some pretty remarkable women. I hope that these people who I encountered find or have found that place where they feel safe and belong. We get so caught up in our destinations, that often times, we can't appreciate or enjoy our journeys as they are happening. We live in a very diverse world filled with different shades of the rainbow and rich in culture. No matter where we travel on life's journey, whether it is Arizona, Tennessee, or any state in between, whether we go for a ride, a flight, or simply pass by someone on the street we will encounter many different walks of life.

Perhaps the greatest of travelers are those who have put their life on the line for their country those who have served proudly in the Armed Forces, Army, Navy, or the Marine Corp. These war veterans definitely deserve to be saluted for their courageousness as we continue to fight the war against terror. These people who represent our country certainly have and will continue to encounter many different walks of life. May we all find peace.

Here is one of my favorite songs "Show Me the River" by Eastmountainsouth. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do.

First Verse:
I've been a traveler of far away lands
I've got love on my mind, but death on these hands
Come homeward angel, show me the way
Or will fate leave me dead in the tracks where I lay

Chorus:
Show me the river that leads to my home back to the one that I love
Show me the wind that constantly blows and I will fly away, fly away home

Second Verse:
Since we were parted I know I have changed
You'll see the blood that was shed in the lines on my face
But now that I've turned my back on the fight
I'm gonna steal back my life like a thief in the night
I come to you through fire and snow over high rolling hills and the valleys below
With all that I've suffered I'm still on this road and if I hold you again will never let go

Chorus:
Show me the river that leads to my home back to the one that I love
Show me the wind that constantly blows and I will fly away, fly away home