CUP OF JOE

I thought that it was time for a candid conversation. A post that reveals who I am outside of being a fairly regular blogger. I thought that I would share some details that define me.

Last thing that made me cry?

Well, truthfully I have been known to cry at Hallmark commercials. I can't just turn on the waterworks; however I can be pretty emotional at times and especially during a certain time of the month. The last thing that really made cry honest to goodness tears is when my chocolate lab who was thirteen years of age went to doggy heaven this past February.

Last thing that made me laugh?

The last thing that made me laugh was when my brother stubbed his toe last night. Ouch! He was shouting expletives. My mom and I were just cracking up. I also have been known to laugh uncontrollably when I see someone fall down. I can't help it. It's genetic.

My biggest regret?

Well, the truth is I don't have that many regrets. Some are definitely more personal than others. I guess I regret not taking many chances and risks. I play it way too safe. If I did take a few more risks I might find more foder for my blogs.

My greatest love?

"I found the greatest love inside of me", to quote an 80's song entitled "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston. I like to think that I take care of myself and that I love and respect myself. I don't think that I have experienced "great love" other than from my family, friends, and my relatonship with the Lord. I would consider Jesus Christ dying on the cross for my sins the greatest love of all. So in that respect I have experienced "the greatest love".

My worst fear?

My worst fear is abandonment probably because my parent's are divorced and my dad left my mom, brother, and me when I was at the tender age of four. I also fear a lack of communication within a relationship. Sometimes, it is hard for me to express my feelings.

My most valued possession?

My journal where I write down my thoughts. Of course, my very own copy of my book which was published at the end of March. I also like my cell phone. It keeps me connected with my world. I also have a sapphire and diamond ring that has a lot of sentimental value. I wear it on the fourth finger of my left hand to keep it close to my heart because my family gave it to me as a college graduation present. I had been admiring my ring from afar for years!

First thing I do every morning?

Well, I use to check myspace every morning, but it has slowly lost its appeal. I do different things. Sometimes I just lay in bed thinking about my "To Do list". Sometimes I take a shower first thing in the morning. Lately, I have been munching on chocolate pop tarts. This morning I wrote a poem.

Last thing I do at night?

I wash my face and brush my teeth. I watch T.V. or an episode of Dawson's Creek or One Tree Hill from my DVD collections. Sometimes, I read a book depending on how sleepy I am. Lately, I have been writing in my journal late at night.

Household appliance I can't live without?

A microwave. I use it almost on a daily basis. I eat Smart Ones frozen cuisine almost everyday for lunch. I would also have to say a blender because I love fruit smoothies. Delicious! I am always reminded of the scene on "Father Of the Bride" between Annie and her dad. She flips out when her fiance, Bryan gives her a blender as a wedding present because she sees it as a 1950's reference for women keeping their place at home. I wouldn't flip out if I received a blender. I don't mind being submissive as long as my boyfriend/husband isn't taking advantage. Someday, I would love to be a Stay At Home Mom for awhile as long as I can have full access to the computer in which to write!

My favorite quote?

This is a tough one. I might as well have found this one on a park bench. Actually, I found it in a book of quotes when I was substitute teaching. The author is unknown or at least I didn't write it down. It has just stuck with me. "True love does not just consist of gazing at each other but gazing outward together in the same direction". In other words, it's all about being on the same page.

My best and worst quality?

This is another tough one. I am very demonstrative. At times I can be very pessimistic and see the glass as being "half empty" instead of "half full". I also can be lazy. I can do anything I put my mind to doing. The flip side of that is that it takes alot to motivate me.

What gives me comfort?

Writing comforts me. It's a release. I believe that writing can be a catharis for my soul. Prayer comforts me. Butterflies comfort me.

What makes me sad?

What truly makes me sad is all the graceful exits from my life of the people I never wanted to leave it. Also it saddens me when I hear someone say that they don't like to read. What would the world be without literature, fiction, or novels? I love diving into a good book. "Come on in the water is fine".

What makes me happy?

Writing makes me happy because it gives me purpose. Blogging makes me happy because it gives me a place to express my thoughts. Sunny and clear days make me happy. Pedicures make me happy. I like happy toes. Babies make me happy. Butterflies make me happy. Being on the "New York Times" best selling list would really make me happy.

Having answered these questions, I feel that I know myself a little bit better. Isn't that the point? You and I see these myspace bulletins all the time with survey after survey. Although 99% of the material on myspace is shallow and superficial, it too can also have it's moments. It reconnected me to an old friend of mine from junior high. So the next time one of these surveys lands with a thud in your inbox or is posted in a bulletin on myspace, take a few minutes to answer honestly an openly. The someone who sent it may be using it as a means to get to know you better: a bridge of communication.

I would like to share with you a story that a guy friend of mine told me the other day. It truly touched me how sentimental he can be. "A professor stands in front of his students with a jar. He fills the jar with golf balls. Then he asks the class, "Is it full?" The class responds in unison, "Yes, it's full". Then the professor fills the jar with pebbles. He asks the class, "Is it full?" The class responds in unison again, "Yes it's full". Next, the professor fills the jar with sand on top of the golf balls and pebbles. He asks the class for a third time, "Is it full?" The class responds for a third time, "Yes, it's full". The professor begins to explain that the golf balls respresent "the family unit". The pebbles represent "the mundane details, the rountines, and the busyness of life". The sand represents "time". Finally, he pours coffee into this already full jar. The jar is filled with coffee to the brim. The professor asks for a final time, "Is it full now?" The class responds in unison for a final time, "Yes, it's full". He looks at the class, and says something very profound. "There is always enough room in your life for a cup of coffee with an old friend". Who knew that a science experiment, could carry such weight? Pardon the pun.

True to form, we all complain about the pebbles( the mundane, the routines, and the busyness). In truth, we could all do without so many pebbles. But then what would we complain about? Oh yeah, family. What if we didn't have those golf balls? Those people in our lives with whom we share a last name and a legacy. What if we didn't have sand? Time is pretty important. We claim that we don't have it for doing the things that we need to do, but there always seems to be enough time to do what we want to do. And lastly, what would we do without coffee? We would probably never wake up or go through the decision making process at Starbucks. By the way, a Caramel light frappucino is my drink of choice.

If you are a middle aged or older lady meeting friends for tea at a quaint little tea room, sip your tea if you must with your little pinky sticking out, but don't forget to ask your dining companions, "How are you?" or "What's new in your life?" "It is what is on the inside that counts". If you are a hip and saavy twenty-something hanging out at a coffeehouse, make time for your friends. Start up a conversation, you never know how much your time and effort can mean to someone. It can be very therapeutic talking with someone. I have many interesting conversations with my friends. I am making more of a conscious effort to spend more time with them after having heard that story. I was thinking about it as a friend and I went to eat dinner together the other night. We just let our hair down and had a really good conversation. There is enough room in our lives for old and new friends alike. Friends are like precious jewels. They are to be treasured. Pull up a chair next to an old friend, catch up on time that has gone by and pour your friend and yourself a cup of joe whether it be decaf or regular.

In my opinion, this song entitled "Sorry to a Friend" by Edwin McCain is fitting for this particular post. I hope that you enjoy it and get something out of it as I do.

Sorry to a Friend

Sittin' on the edge
Looking for songs in a bottle
Talking with strangers who don't know my pain
Blurry eyed and burned out
Choking on more than I can swallow
Crack in a little voice called out my name

She said ~ Whatever happened to you,
You took the coward's way out again
And I guess all my fears were true
The words were all gone the time's been too long.
But its not too late to say it sorry to a friend

Staring in her face, I see a past that still haunts me
The road where we split up is paved with the things I didn't say
We had wonderful times, but terrible timing
Now just leave her alone, I'll just be in the way

She said whatever happened to you
You took the coward's way out again
And I guess all my fears were true
The words are all gone, the time's been too long
But it's not too late to say I'm sorry to a friend
I'm sorry to a friend. Sorry to a friend

Like a stone in a stream
Life smoothes all our edges
'Til we barely make a ripple any more
But those times in my life will live with me forever
But we're not the same people that we were before

And I'm sorry for the smiles we missed and the times that I blew it
I've got so much to tell you I don't know where to start
Maybe I'll find a way maybe you'll help me do it
'Cause friends like us should not be apart
And I'm sorry to a friend
Well now I'm sorry

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