THE SWEETEST SENSATION

Today marks the one year anniversary of the day that I started blogging. The very first blog that I wrote is entitled "The Whole Enchilada" located on the "Topaz Butterfly" site. It has been really interesting to take a look back and see how much has happened and how so many things about my life have changed in the span of just one year. I have kept up this activity now for a year. I will continue to blog for as long as the creative energy flows and as long as the little lightbulb goes off above my head. Hopefully, I will continue to keep what little audience I have as I continue to dive deeper into my ocean of emotion.

I thought that phrase "ocean of emotion" would be a nice segue into the subject of this particular blog which is matters of the heart. Yes, I know another blog about love and relationships. I know that it has all been said before; however, I have found a very interesting way to "paint this picture". It's summertime! Have you ever noticed how poets, songwriters, and society at large romanticize this time of year? I would like to cite some examples. Do you remember the song "Endless Summer Nights" by Richard Marx who is one of the most romantic recording artists to every come down the pike? Now, that song could definitely steam up some windows. "Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day?" was written by none other than the famous poet and playright William Shakespeare. In this song and this poem summer is most definitely romanticized.

Don't you wish that you could say what you really mean to say without disguising it behind all of the unnecessary obligatory subtext? If you really did say what you really meant to say then you would receive a truthful reaction in response. James Weldon Johnson once wrote, "The anticipation produced in me a sensation somewhat of bliss and fear". This particular quote by James Weldon Johnson describes exactly the sensation that starts in the pit of our stomachs when we suddenly develop "tip of the tongue" syndrome. We know exactly what we what to say, but we can't find the words to say it. We feel the bliss of the prospect of telling that special someone in our lives how we feel about them; however the fear moves in much like the tide washing away all of our high hopes of having our affections returned and taking our bravery and courage along with it.

The ones who haven't gone through a break up or some sort of emotional upheaval are very few and far between I am afraid. Those of us who have dried ourselves off from coming out of our oceans of emotion are hesistant and reluctant to jump back in with the excitement, wonder,and intensity that we had when we jumped in before as a result we play in the sand watching the tide going in and out, and the waves crash on the shore.

Why can't life be as simple as a boy and a girl playing in a sandbox together? When did life and love get so incredibly complicated and complex? It is about the same time in which puberty sets. It clouds our vision to see that life can be just as great as we imagine it to be as a kid playing in that cherished sandbox. We have a tendency to blame love for our mistakes, and our heartache. The truth is it is not what love does to us it is what we do to love. We can criticize, belittle and demean love when it doesn't work out for us letting our sandcastles with all of the details that define it that we have worked so hard on get washed away by the tide as we move farther and farther away from the shoreline. The beauty of a sandcastle is that it can be rebuilt. We take a time out or a breather as we wallow in our misery and self-pity.

At some point, we must get back in there. We must dive back into our oceans of emotion; however, there is a balance, a happy medium that we must achieve. There is such a concept as "too much too soon". We must be careful not to ride on our emotions or catch the wrong wave or we will inevitably "wipeout". Can you imagine for a moment the sweet sensation a surfer must experience when he finally rides out the wave navigating himself or herself through the pipeline? It is not our responsibility to overpower the waves in our lives; however, it is in the best interest of our relationships to follow through and ride out the wave. We must seize every opportunity that comes our way. We should not shy away from opportunities especially in relationships least we not discover who is the most compatible or combustible for us. Whatever the case may be. The point is we have got to dive in and explore all the possibilities. In Shakespeare's tragedy, Julius Caesar's Brutus has a line that reads like this: "There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood, leads on to the future. But omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves or lose the ventures before us".

I feel pretty confident as a writer. I have to go with the flow. I can't disturb the steady rhythmic river from which this post is flowing. Why else would I be staying up until almost 1:00 AM? It is because this tidal wave has come over me and I have to ride it out. Professor Hetson played by Roger Howarth said to Joey played by Katie Holmes in the sixth and final season of Dawson's Creek, "It can't be streams of consciousness if you are observing by the shores".

Maybe you have rested and recuperated from your nasty wipeout and you are thinking that you will lightly tread on tip-toe back down to the shoreline. You might even dip your toes into the edge of the water to remember the sweet sensation of falling for someone who has fallen just as hard for you. It is invigorating! Isn't it? There are fewer things on this Earth that can make you feel more truly alive than diving into an ocean of emotion. What are you waiting for? The next full moon? Maybe you figure that the moon moves the tides so maybe it will move you to make a bold move after all we are made up of seventy percent water. The sands of time are constantly in motion. Time stands still for no one, and eventually it will run out.

Sure, there are other aspects of life that can elicit sweet sensations such as writing these blog entires, but nothing can give you the rush or prompt the adrenaline to start pumping quite like falling in love. On another espisode of Dawson's Creek, Dawson played by James Van der Beek was visiting his artisitic Aunt Gwen played by Julie Bowen. They were talking. She said to him, "Before I die I want to know that I did at least one thing right-love someone. The rest of this is just an expression of that one thing". Build those sandcastles to the sky! Don't give up on love!

If a wave just so happens to come your way this summer, wait until the moment is right, take hold of your metaphorical surfboard and catch the wave. Sure, it is scary. In the movie "Bounce" starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck there is a line from that movie that reads like this: It's not brave, if you're not scared". There is always a possibility of a nasty wipeout, but don't let that slight chance loom over your head. Wipeouts just give you the necessary experience to catch the right "wave" and experience the sweetest sensation. Come on in the water is fine!

I thought about this song by John Mayer as I was writing this blog. It is called "Love Song for No One" on his "No Room for Squares" album. I hope that you like it as much as I do.

Love Song for No One by John Mayer

Staying home alone on a friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
Im jaded
I hate it

Im tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
Im not sure who Im looking for
Ill know it
When I see you
Until then, Ill hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

Im tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

Im tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Youll be so good
Youll be so good for me