SKIES OF BLUE

Skies of Blue by T.B. Fly

For anyone who has experienced a first love and lost it. Have you ever had someone for whom you cared deeply that came around again like a boomerang? If so, this poem is for you. I suppose that the soundtrack for this particular time of my life, would have to be somewhat of a "bittersweet symphony". I hope that you will appreciate my symbolic purging through the conventions of poetry.

My first time out
I found out what love was all about

Smiles, touches, kisses were among many firsts
I felt like my heart would burst into
I was so in love with you

Together we weaved a colorful tapestry of dreams
Only to see it ripped at the seams
Then the tears flowed down my face in streams

For so long, I stood still
In my heart, all I could feel

Was the pain
I wondered if it would ever be sustained

Waiting for you to come back again
I thought I had found in you, one true friend

Somehow I knew, that you would come back around my life’s bend
Then we could begin once again

Two years later, I thought I had been given a reprieve
Surely, this time, my heart you would receive

You were my unexpected gift
Why didn’t you see?
How could we repair the bridge between you and me?

My hopes were built higher everyday
As I believed, this time you were going to stay

You asked me if you had a place in my life
I had dreams of one day becoming your wife

How was that so easy to miss?
It is hard now to reminiscence

On the day, I expressed to you what was in my heart
Your costume eyes filled with mist

Were your tears real?

My beauty unveiled
My heart unafraid to feel

Did that really happen?

At times, it feels almost unreal
That I took the ultimate risk
Of being fully embraced or merely dismissed

Unfortunately, you chose the latter
I am still confused as to why, my feelings did not matter

There were many things left to say
But you would not be bothered and went on your merry way

You ran to the arms of another
Even though, you knew that I loved you
More than any other

Ever could
How could I have been so misunderstood?

You confided in me, you could not trust
A strong foundation we had once built

How could your heart towards me be filled with so much mistrust?
When did the foundation begin to deteriorate and rust?

The tears you cried were a symbol of guilt
Where would we be?
If you had not hurt me?

I still miss you
I still care

Forsaking me for another
Was hard to bear

My words had fallen on deaf ears
I had wasted too many years

There was only one thing left to do
I had to start loving me and stop loving you

As the days pass, I hurt less and less
I am responsible for my own happiness

Make no mistake I may forgive
But I will never forget

The hole that was left in my heart
When our ways did part

Leaving me behind
Life can be so unkind
It may prove to be your greatest regret

It is time to retreat
I am tired of this attitude of defeat

I must stop going down memory lane
The “what ifs” can drive a person insane

I don’t have regrets because I told you what was in my heart
Even though, my feelings drove us apart

I must move on from the past and you
It is high time, and long overdue

My first time out
I found out what love is all about
But now I have my doubts

A creature of comfort and habit
A cowardly lion? You?
I never would have fathomed it

But it is true
Still I must forgive you
Because it is long overdue

If someday you come back around the bend
How could I ever go down that road again?

The truth is I could never just think of you as a friend
And so I am afraid that all roads leading to you are just dead ends

No more tears to cry
Over you

Those days are long gone
I will persevere and move on

To myself, I must try
To be true
I am headed for skies of blue